I need to let some things out.  I don't really know what to say, but lately, life has me wanting to let out one huge battle cry. I am so sick of not being allowed to test my limits. That's something that was not encouraged a lot when I was growing up. I got a lot of mixed messages as a kid. What that means is that I'm far behind where I feel like I should be, which in some ways is hugely frustrating. The only difference is that now, I've gotten a lot better at articulating that frustration, and I do not keep my mouth shut as much. I open up and let it out. Even if nothing ever changes for me, at least my family is more aware of my feelings.

That was a huge step forward for me, and it took me a hell of a long time to get there, but I am there, and it feels good. I don't feel that sense of hopelessness as deeply anymore. I want to prove to myself and everyone who tries to tell me otherwise that is is possible for me to have something approximating a normal life. I don't deserve anything less than that.